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Calvin and Hobbes poems

A Poem
Author: Heather Acord

While I sit here in this room,
I feel a sense of certain doom
'Cause I don't know a *&%#ing thing on this test.
Now I sit here, pencil tapping,
Staring at a poster in its laminated wrapping
With deformed pink bunnies saying "Do your best!"
My "best"?!!? Heck, what's the use of trying?
Right now, I'd feel better if I were dying.
All the letters on the paper are a blur.
Suddenly, a noise out in the hall.
What the...? A volleyball?!!?!?
I watch it bounce. Down the hall it twirls.
All the others must be deaf and blind.
They pay no attention, chew gum in time.
Then I hear a laugh I've never heard, yet know.
A blond little boy clad in a black mask
In a red shirt carrying a butterfly net runs past.
I watch him as down the hall he goes.
I jump from my desk, run to the door.
(Do the other people wonder what I'm looking for?)
For some reason they don't see what I do.
I step out of the doorway, step into the hall.
HEY!! It's Calvin and Hobbes! They're playing Calvinball!!
They come up to me and say, "We've been waiting for you."
Looking around, now I can see
Faces that aren't too very new to me.
I remember reading about them when I was a kid.
There's Susie, Rosalyn, Mr. Bun too.
Moe, Spiff, and Calvin's mom and dad (whoop-dee-doo).
Suddenly I realize of all my pain I am rid.
Through all the haze of psychedelic tint,
I figure out where it is I've went,
As I look back into the room, see my lifeless body on the floor.
All the people have gathered 'round to see.
Paramedics try to resurrect me,
But I know I will exist on Earth nevermore.
I reach down to scratch Hobbes' ears.
The "real world" suddenly disappears.
Calvin yells that there is a game to play.
I don't feel angry or sad,
But rather I feel kind of glad.
I didn't like my life alive anyway.

Hobbes: Orange, Black, and Everything in Between
Author: Zeke 2.3

Night black stripes on orange-red fur
When he runs, he becomes a blur
Friend of Calvin, a misunderstood kid
The worth of their friendship can't be bid
They throw rocks in streams, just for kicks
(Though Hobbes would rather be cruisin' for chicks)
He sleeps in the sun every now and then, though
(Tigers' tummies have solar cells, you know)
He's fashion trendy, should be on GQ
Tries not to look as seedy as certain unnamed parties do
Hay feeber fleezon ith thot flbunny toh himb
Blecuth heth canth ambuth Calvinth thenb
Thbbt!! Thbbt! (hack!) Thbbt!! Thbbt!! (hack!)
(hack!) Thbbt!! (hack!) echeem... ack
He has his pearls of wisdom; now and then, a sarcastic quirk
(He does a large portion of Calvin's homework)
Don't mess with Hobbes, though; he's sleek and cool
He once ate a kid from Calvin's elementary school
Is he real? Or is he lifeless and dead?
The conclusion to this is better left unsaid
To end this poem, I'll say: Hobbes is just plain phat
And that's all I have to say about that

A Boy and his Tiger
Author: Christopher Sampang

There once was fun called "Calvin and Hobbes"
That helped adults survive their jobs.
For ten full years, we laughed and cried.
When Bill retired, most everyone sighed.
From Susie to Rosalyn, from parents to teachers,
The philosophies they showed didn't need preachers,
For fun and exploration was all they had,
And when it was gone, we all felt sad.
We read the books and scan the papers
For old strips and little capers.
We pray for the day when they'll come back; still,
That decision is entirely up to Bill.

Authors: Ryan Ferneau and cool girl

Note: This poem was left unfinished.

"Hop in the Time Machine, Hobbes! Won't be far!
And the place that we're going to is really bizarre!
No need to worry! No need to fear!
We're just going forward to my teenage years!"

"What do you mean, no need to worry, no need to fear?
It's going to be freaky in your teenage years."

Calvin was undiscouraged, oh yes,
And this he had to say:
"That's not the problem! That's the fun!"

"I'd like to see the day!"

"Fine! Have it YOUR way!
We both love to go on adventures.
We do it every day.
But when you refuse my invention,
I start to feel bad that way."

"All right, Calvin! I'm sorry I scoffed!
I didn't mean it that way!
I'm sure that when we get there,
You'll learn your lesson fast;
Because you'll have wasted your childhood then,
You'll see that it can't last."

"All right, Hobbes! In the box!
A whoosh, and off we go!
Hmm, I wonder what I'll look like,
After I start to grow."

ZOOM! went the box, through time and space,
In a cosmic wormhole of light!
It was strange, though, between the lights,
It looked much darker than night.
Hobbes watched the time dial,
And Calvin, the destination.
They took no chances this time
Of reaching the chosen location.

Author: weird girl

The strange little kid with wild blond hair
Rode a balloon high in the air
Talks to Hobbes, who's always there
He's been six for many years
Doesn't care anything of his peers
Hobbes cut his hair off with some shears
Snowballs for Susie
Calvinball with Hobbes
He seceded from his family
Has parents with no names
Who is he???
He's Calvin and HE'S DA MAN!!!!!!!!!!

A Pernicious Poem (for Calvinball)
Author: wacko2

Hobbes is the most! Hobbes is the best!
He even helps me with my math test!
A tiger so smart, a tiger so keen,
Such a tiger there has never been!
He's fun to be with, inside or out,
Hobbes is the greatest, without a doubt!
I'm always proud to call Hobbes my friend,
He's there for me till the very end!


There is a kid named Calvin
And he is a 6 year old boy.
His best friend is a tiger named Hobbes
Who looks just like a toy.
All day long they jump and play,
They yell and skip and run.
It might bother Susie,
But hey, it looks like fun.
Then there's good ol' Tracer Bullet
And fearless Spaceman Spiff.
And Stupendous Man fights evil,
Pow! Bang! Boom! Crash! Biff!
Miss Wormwood and Rosalyn,
Mom and Dad and Moe,
They're the other characters
In the comic, don't you know.
Their last comic was in papers
After 1995
Was over. Yet in our hearts
Their souls are still alive.

A Day in the Lives of Hobbes and Calvin
Author: wacko2

Calvin and Hobbes sit down one day.
"How will we while our time away?"
This Calvin asks of furry Hobbes.
"Well, we could act like complete slobs
In a fun game of Calvinball!
It would be a true free-for-all!
We could roll in the mud and fight
Over the ball all day and night!"
Hobbes, First Tiger, loudly exclaims.
"Yes," Calvin replies, "Fun and games!"
"Or we could attack that Susie!"
A war! It would be a doozy!
Big waterballoons we could use,
And mudbulls slushy and profuse!
She would cry and then run away,
And after that, later today,
We would have a celebration!
The best G.R.O.S.S. club in the nation!
More honours and awards for all!
Now that's better than Calvinball!"
But Hobbes answers, "I don't think so.
Your mom will be quite mad, you know,
If she finds out that escapade!
Why don't we just sit in the shade,
And read comics this afternoon?"
Calvin agrees to this, and soon
The two friends sit by the oak tree,
Reading, as content as can be.
And that's the tale of one day in
The lives of Hobbes and Calvin.

Author: The Calvin Expert

Calvin and Hobbes,
Sneak up on Susie.
Calvin and Hobbes,
Now she is woozy.
Calvin and Hobbes,
They used a slushball.
Calvin and Hobbes,
They get a call.
Calvin and Hobbes,
It's their mom.
Calvin and Hobbes,
The threat of a bomb.
Calvin and Hobbes,
It's a false alarm.
Calvin and Hobbes,
They have the best mom.
Calvin and Hobbes,
They may get a boo.
Calvin and Hobbes,
But we still miss you.

The Sled Ride
Author: SaïlorJupïter

Who would have known that upon that glittering winter day
That Calvin and Hobbes would take their leave and go so far away?
The toboggan was waxed so very well, the ride sure would be long!
But on that frosty winter day, something went quite wrong.
When the two best friends went off to play upon the lawn,
Something happened inside their world, and the two were suddenly gone.
We remember them within our hearts, enshrine them on the 'net.
Calvin and Hobbes was the best damn comic our paper ever did get.
And maybe someday when Watterson's comic ink shall flow anew,
Calvin and Hobbes just might come back, best friends through and through.


Early in the morning,
It was a happy time.
There was no room for mourning
As I recite these rhymes.
There was a house. Inside it,
Lived a boy with spiky hair.
There also lived a tiger
Who'd jump you anywhere.
The boy, his name was Calvin.
Hobbes is what he called the cat.
They are the very best of all,
They're completely phat.

Calvin rap
Author: Admiral Hawkhunter

My name is Calvin and I have a story;
So close your eyes, it's gonna get gory.
It all happened when I baited a trap with tuna
And a tiger came no sooner.
Our mom is mean,
She always makes a scene.
My dad is boring
When we are scoring.
Hobbes is all striped,
His brain is wiped.
Susie is dumb,
She is a bum.
Moe's a jerk,
His brain won't work.
Now told you the story,
Wasn't it gory?
Ooops, bye-bye!

Susie: Come back here! (sigh)

To My Fair Susie
Author: wacko2

Note: This poem is based on the episode where Calvin makes a duplicate of his good side. The good Calvin writes a poem to give to Susie, but only the last two lines are shown. Here is what the complete poem might have been! Sickening, isn't it??

Who is brighter than the stars above?
Who is the person I truly love?
Whose face is the fairest of the fair?
Cover'd on top with chestnut brown hair?
Who exudes such a warm carefree glow
That spreads joy wherever she doth go?
Who is that person I so desire,
Whose presence sets my body on fire?
Who, in times of great sorrow and strife,
Could bring happiness into my life?
Who could be my angel in disguise?
Who could put a light in my eyes?
And who could make my heart feel woozy?
Only thou, my fair sweet Susie.

A Calvin and Hobbes Poem
Author: Stop Making Sense!

A boy.

His tiger.

A toy?
Not to Calvin.

A tiger?
Not to the rest.

Smart. Cunning. Aware.
Disliked and despised.

His parents
Wished they got a basset hound.
Hope he'll grow out of it.

Stupendous Man.
Spaceman Spiff.
Tracer Bullet.
Calvin's alter egos.

Not to everyone else!

A superhero.
An astronaut.
A detective.

Or a figment of imagination?

A girl.

A girl, a normal girl. A smart girl (academically),
and a well behaved one, too.
Calvin's mortal enemy.

Ms. Wormwood.
A woman, and a teacher.

A teacher,
A typical teacher. An older teacher (physically),
and a disgruntled, perceived-to-be-cruel one, too.
Calvin's other mortal enemy.

A young woman, a student, a babysitter.

A babysitter,
A typical babysitter,
But not with Calvin, or any kid like that.
His third mortal enemy.

Contained, yet assertive. Childish and mature.
Allegedly doesn't exist.
Calvin's eternal pal...

And through all this, the unperturbed duo strive,
Great beings in a sea of possible obstacles and learned-from mistakes.
Through all this irony, they remain beautiful at heart.

And that eternal cry will always be ringing, as they ride off into the mist,

"Let's go exploring!"

An Ode to Calvin and Hobbes
Author: darksorceress324

Deep in the woods, so pure and green,
Calvin explores the wonders unseen
With his tiger best friend, best dressed too,
Hobbes comes along, for there's nothing to lose.
Except for, maybe, a tuna fish sandwich,
Hobbes remembers as they ride over a cliff
In their little red wagon without seatbelts or airbags.
Will they make it this time? The ride was too fast.
It's summer, bright, serene, and cool,
Away from the tyranny of Miss Wormwood and school.
They sit under the tree and reminisce
Oh, the cold winter days they so dearly miss!
Of snowmen, snow art, and sledding,
And the proposed thick snow fort setting,
Plastering Susie with slush balls galore,
What more could you ever ask for?
Then Calvin recalls his days in school
Of boredom and cafeteria gruel.
Spaceman Spiff comes to mind!
Intrepid, courageous, and looking quite fine,
He travels galaxies previously uncharted.
In his little red spacecraft, off he started,
To kill these aliens with his super ray gun.
His ship suddenly crashes, is Spiff done?
And Stupendous Man, another alter ego
Who saves this world from injustice and evil.
Tracer Bullet, a private eye,
Wonders how fast Jack and Joe drive?
He comes up with one billion, no less.
Miss Wormwood drinks Maalox from the bottle out of stress.
Calvin's parents are sincere but a little weird.
Building character is Dad's motto. Calvin fears
That character will kill him one day,
Especially if hypothermia comes his way.
Mom often screams when Calvin hammers the wall,
But they're decent parents all in all.
It seemed to Calvin they wished him dead,
When they really wanted a dachshund instead.
But wait, there's more! The transmogrifier,
Which turns you into animals, such as tigers,
And the duplicator, when the box is on its side.
"One of my duplicates can go to school instead of I!"
Calvin cries, before learning his lesson.
"I didn't really learn anything," was his usual confession.
And then there's the time traveler to see dinosaurs in abundance.
Pictures of the adventures, tapped with some violence,
Dinosaurs chasing them to and forth.
They fly to Earth, expecting an escort.
And there are the meetings of G.R.O.S.S.
A club run by Calvin and Hobbes, of course;
It's made to exterminate slimy girls.
As Calvin spots Susie, a pine cone he hurls.
But Susie gets him back in the end
When she stole Hobbes who didn't defend
Or even eat her for lunch.
So Calvin was mad and hit him a bunch.
But the spirit of G.R.O.S.S. lives on for years,
And so do Calvin and Hobbes, both so dear.
I wonder if they miss us, as the pages fold,
And do they long for the days they went exploring for wonders untold?